Discussing Adoptions in
Junior and Senior High School

Discussing Adoptions

Educational and social demands are much greater on youngsters in junior or senior high school. There are different teachers for each subject, rather than one dependable teacher to report to, and each one has different expectations.

School assignments are longer and more complex, and exams are harder. The school itself is much larger, and the number of kids can be overwhelming. There are lockers and gym class, clubs to join, and cliques to figure out.

Messages and music from the popular culture and media bombard the youngster. And with all of this, hormones are raging and causing all kinds of bodily and emotional changes.

Since teenagers are more capable of abstract thinking, discussing adoptions in school can be more sophisticated. Teenagers know how a girl gets pregnant, and can understand why someone might not be able to care for a baby after it is born.

They can also understand the concepts of child abuse and neglect, and that society has an obligation to protect children and provide a safe and secure environment for them. All this being said, adopted teens still may not have worked through all their feelings about their adoption.

Precisely because they have more understanding, and because this is a time when sexuality and identity issues surface, their adoptive status may cause them to feel even more embarrassed or rejected than when they were younger.
Teenagers sometimes render harsh value judgments about themselves, seeing only the black and white and none of the grey areas.

You may still need to help school personnel see that adoption affects adopted children's performance and adjustment at school even when they reach junior high or high school age.

Discussing adoptions at the junior high and high school level fit in well in a family life, health, home economics, or sex education class.

Lois Melina suggests that a panel consisting of birthparents, adoptive parents, and adopted teens makes a good presentation for teens. The birthparents and adoptive parents talk about why they decided on adoption and their feelings and experiences.

The adopted teens talk about their feelings and experiences about being adopted, hopefully in a positive manner, while realistically discussing the special issues they have to deal with.

How do adopted kids in this age group do in school? Well, there is good news. According to a recent national survey conducted by the Search Institute of Minneapolis, Minnesota, out of 4,600 adopted teenagers in the United States, 56 percent say they like school, and 20 percent "aren't sure."

These percentages are not much different than those of nonadopted teens (54 percent and 23 percent, respectively). Two out of three adopted teens say they try as hard as they can to do their best in school, and three out of four say they plan to finish high school and go to college.

Adoptive parents ask about homework and curriculum, help with homework, and attend meetings at school at the same rate as other parents. Thus, despite our worries, and even though some adopted teens struggle because of learning disabilities, school is a positive experience for most of them.

One cautionary note, however, is that this survey focused on teens who were adopted as infants or young children. If the survey included more young people adopted at a later age and as a result of birthparent abuse or neglect and placement in the foster care system, the results might be different.

Just because one study finds that adopted kids do okay in high school does not mean that you can sit back and do nothing. The repercussions of adoption can last a long time, and as conscientious parents, you still need to stay involved.

This material was obtain from Child Welfare Information Gateway

Return from Discussing Adoptions to Children for Adoption