effects of adding adoption children on your bio children

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Bio Children and Adopted Children NEW
by: Connie

You?ve got a very beautiful family Heather.

I can understand what your are experiencing here.

I know that my girls are not my bio children, however, since they came to me at such a young age, they do not really know of anything else. They know they are adopted, but they never really knew their real mom.

Anyway, right after I adopted them from foster care I continued to foster other children. My oldest girl, who was 5 at the time, got extremely jealous and sadly asked me several times if I was going to adopt them too. I kept reassuring her that I wasn't, but it never really helped, she never liked any of the kids.

I am not sure but I think she thought that the attention I was giving them should have been for her. Not that she wasn?t already getting attention from me, she just did not want others to have it too. Do you understand what I am getting at here?

It sounds to me like your son may just be acting out for this reason as well, he is a little angry and jealous because you are sharing your attention instead of giving it all to just him and his real sister.

In my case I was able to give up fostering for a while, however, in your case this is not an option.

Your adopted son is your son too. Do not allow your bio son to think that his behavior is upsetting you (even though I know that it probably is) because if he knows this he will believe that he is winning you over and yes his behavior probably will continue to get worse.

Continue to give them all the same love and affection that you have been. Don?t talk to your son about his negative behavior, do your best not to react to his negative behavior by yelling, this is what he wants. (He is getting a response from you, your attention, however, it is negative attention and this is not what you want). As for him, he couldn?t care less as long as he is getting something from you.

His negative behavior can be dealt with simply by calmly directing him to time out for 5 mins. However, every single time you notice a good behavior or he uses his manners (AnyThing Good). Be sure to praise him, because you are noticing him and he will love it.

At the age of 10 my daughter is more understanding and asked me when I was going to help other children who needed a place to live. I guess what I am saying is that age may play a factor here, so be patient with your son. In time things will work out, it is just a matter of getting through the younger years.

Heather I hope this advice helps.

effects of adding adoption children on your bio children

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